the river that knew it was as deep as sea

my knowledge of the dark

may be not what I thought it was:

there are things down there

I was not ready to experience.

depth of their eyes reveal pain they’ve hidden

even when the soul seemed to want to laugh

and blood drowned the tears unshed.

gods’ gaze at my failures is endless

for they wait for me to learn.

I knew not someone could wait eternally

if they believed truly the bus to come.

sea was far but river was closer to my home

and I walked along it, but never in,

thus in my isolation I knew not

how deep it was,

but the river knew it was mighty –

it carried life that counted not less than sea.

all that I feared I would become

is share their lifeless laughter;

all that I refuse is hollow homes

where restlessness dwells.

I want forest to be my bed

and autumn leaves, my blanket;

and I want your eyes to look into mine, always;

and hear the laugh of love

light as wind of gods walking above us.

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