on a stress ball and a prayer

Feeling claustrophobic – where  workplaces, even though appearing open, have people talking and/or blasting music on their cell phones. In the city – near constant noise of vehicles, construction, advertised crap, music. I feel like I am limited with choices of where to go to escape all of that, and places I used to go to that provide some serenity are either gone or packed with people. Trapped in the overindulgence of others’ entertainment of all kinds. Trapped in existence, often not knowing why. What to do…? Noise intensifies with time around here, around me. It won’t change. We cannot change others, what they do and how… unless we go against their will .. which would give us all a social conflict of increasingly nasty proportions. Do we need another conflict? Right, so the only thing to change is us, or rather, how we respond to what and who surrounds us.

Rob Halford, musician and singer, known as Metal God to metal music fans, is no stranger to recovery of body, spirit, and mind. In a recent interview, he said: “Reflection, gratitude, being kind. And it’s tough, particularly in the world that we live in. We’re surrounded by a constant screaming clutter. And I’m sure being sober has been a big part of my understanding of this. You’ve gotta try and find your own internal peace and harmony. And that’s tough. It’s hard work. You can’t let it go. You’re working at it all the time.” (May 2024 https://www.darkside.ru/news/163653)

I can agree with that, a lot. Looking for internal peace and harmony… After some consideration, I started doing something different recently, to cope with noise and stress. I’ve got me a stress ball to squeeze. Literally, yes. It’s a small ball from a squash set, so it fits in a pocket. At work, I squeeze it and release it and so on, and I can roll it on my arms when I feel stressed, caught in physical four walls of space, or in the midst of human verbal clamor. I play with a larger stress-ball when at home I watch movies – sometimes movies get too loud, or some scenes are annoying or for some reason I feel anxious. I sometimes don’t notice that I bite my nails. Long time habit, and not a healthy one. A ball is much better alternative, I think.

If I cannot get my ball for whatever reason, I can pray, too. Two days ago, first after after a long time, I found myself reciting Serenity Prayer when dealing with something I couldn’t change or control. I can hum songs. That one helps. Maybe next time I could try counting to ten?

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image is mine. go copy it if you need to.