I remember an old saying from back home: If you are arguing with an idiot, there is a chance that they may be doing the same thing.
Funny? No? It’s OK. Have a carrot.
Unless you are an Argument Master and you know the strategy of solving a dispute without losing your face and not making another person feel like crap, arguing is not much fun. I’m sure everybody had verbal fights and not everybody likes them. To have what they want, people need time, space, and choice. Let them have it, unless them having it causes serious trouble for others, maybe.
Choice is a vital part in this system. Very often people say/think they don’t have a choice, yet I think it is very rare when that happens. Granted, some people are stuck in jail or in a mental institution and they cannot easily walk away from being locked up, but even then some of them do have choice to accept treatment/rehabilitation and one day some of them may go free sooner.
So, let’s take me who is in neither of these situations. Let’s say I am having an argument, and I am about to lose my mind. I have several choices on how to act. I can:
breath in deep and exhale long,
take a step back,
smile and say “It’s OK. I’ll have a carrot.”
It’s easy to be positive now and philosophize now, but how will I act when an argument pushing for rage comes? Well, I was learning when I heard of this, and I am learning still now as I am writing down the memories. The experience of it all will show how well and what I’ve learned. What I will try to remember firstly is that I need to present the positive choices first. Like, I always can say “no” as I have a right to say “no” without explaining why. Or I can step back instead of yelling, or even lunging forward. I have a choice to react by not reacting. Remember Rush: “If you chose not to decide, you still have made the choice.”
Unlike some others, we have opportunities to make positive choices. Let’s make those. And have some carrots.
the image was copied from https://www.flickr.com/photos/59416005@N08/5433585117 and choiced by me. thank you.